Discovering the power of feelings – using core desired feelings to create meaningful goals and a fulfilling life.
While on a vacation to visit Wes’ family, we walked past a yoga studio near the beach advertising aerial yoga. I took a flyer and a few days later I had the opportunity to steal the afternoon away to test my own flight skills.
The moment I went up into the silk hammock I became a little kid again. Giggling when we wrapped up into our ‘personal cocoon’, I felt like I was five years old swinging for hours on the playground. This was in perfect alignment with the intent of this vacation – recharging and finding joy again.
At the beginning of 2014 I created a ‘vision board’. I love goals and I am a person that is either 110% focused on my goals or sleeping, or as my mother likes to remind me – I am either stressed or bored. Goals fuel me and bring me fulfillment, or so I thought. A few weeks ago I took a look at my vision board for 2014. I achieved almost everything, and most of my actions exceeded expectations, so why do I feel like crap?
That is the keyword –FEEL. All of my goals are derived from the logical assumption that once this goal is achieved, I will feel good. But I never thought about what ‘feeling good’ means to me. It wasn’t until I read an amazing article in Mantra Yoga + Health that I had a ‘light bulb/aha moment’. (Side note, remember I function at 110% or sleeping, so we can let go of how I only read Yoga magazines...)
Danielle LaPorte has an amazing book ‘The Desire Map’. She was featured in Mantra Magazine and one of her quotes completely rocked my world –
“Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have. And doing what it takes to feel that way is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life.”
All of my goals had been created with the assumption that I would feel good when I get there, vs starting with my feelings. For example – my goal to have a home, dogs, a career with the schedule to fit my yoga teaching schedule came true. But I was so focused on the outside that I forgot to nurture the inside, and have my goals fueled from there. So now I find myself walking around like an exhausted zombie wondering why I do not feel fulfilled by reaching my goals.
Don’t get me wrong! I LOVE so many things in my life and teaching yoga is one of the most fulfilling/joyful parts of my day. I am blessed to have a home, a solid career, a great partner, and wonderful (exhausting) four legged children. The only issue is that I am jam packed, and I lose focus on what I really need since my life is run more like a to-do list vs an experience.
I think it is time for another quote from LaPorte –
“Get clear on how you most want to feel – your core desired feelings – and create goals that are going to make you feel that way.”
Boom – that is powerful stuff! I took my vacation time to listen to the audio version of LaPorte’s ’The Desire Map’ and from there I was able to really think about what goals needed to stay, and which ones needed to move over.
Desire mapping is an in-depth process that cannot be taught in two seconds, but a quick way to explain is to simply ask ‘How Do I Want to Feel?’ LaPorte guides the listener/reader thought many different aspects of life to help them find patterns to identify what their core desired feelings are.
After going through many exercises I realized that I want to feel – Passion, Purpose, Light, Genuine, and Abundance. I took a close look at my goals, and from there I was able to restructure, including a great way to check to see if my actions resonate with my desired feelings – Do I feel light? Do I feel passionate? Do I feel like this serves a purpose?
While swinging upside down giggling, I felt all of those things and it was wonderful to have great guideposts to make sure I was doing exactly what I needed at that moment.
I encourage everyone to take a moment to think about how you want to FEEL. Stop numbing out, let go of just wanting to check one more thing off your to-do list, hoping that will make you happy. If you want to dig in more, I encourage you to pick up ‘The Desire Map’ and try it out for yourself!
Now it is your turn – Ask yourself ‘How Do I Want to Feel?’ and see what amazing things you can experience and cultivate within your own life…
If you want to have a fun yoga practice where you get to ‘FEEL’ more and let go, join me at Haleybird Studio for a ‘YOGA DANCE PARTY’ Wednesday, September 24th at 6:50 pm. We will have glow sticks, a lot of laughter, great music, and an opportunity to flow. No dance experience required J
A BIG thank you to Lori at Kaya Yoga & Massage Rehoboth Delaware www.KayaWellnessCenter.com and to Danielle LaPorte for making an exceptional guide to goal setting, or as she calls it – Goals with Soul.